im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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