This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
