hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
