i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Boobs speak an international language.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
i think i just lost a toe
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Randomize
