Grow some girl-balls and come out already
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
