You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
