i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
