Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
