mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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