drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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