these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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