turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
so much tequila, so little girl.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize