a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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