I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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