Jerry, you need to find god
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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