I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
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