You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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