so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
