i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
are you so shy because you have an std?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
