Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
