I will die if light touches me.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
he laminated a picture of his dick.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
