We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
