I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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