Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
