It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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