He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize