thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
