I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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