so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
