I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
