there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Randomize
