Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
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