So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
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