No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
