How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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