i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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