So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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