It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
my being single is dangerous.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
