? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Acid is not a monday night drug
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
