Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
