I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize