i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize