my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i used baking grease as lip gloss
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
