I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
