So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize