i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Randomize
