she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
