Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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