I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
