Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
