So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
