hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
I did not marry a roomba.
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