I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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