where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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