just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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