It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
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