He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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