oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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