I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize