Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Randomize
