i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
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