ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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