I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
