When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
