Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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