I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
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