College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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