Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
